Cleaning House, and escaping death.

It's been 3 years since I almost died...

Cleaning up someone else's mess is never a fun job. 

Forgiving and forgetting someone betraying you is not a easy task.

Loving someone even though they treat you with the utmost disrespect, is not human. 

But with the love that Jesus Christ has for us... God giving up His Son. Jesus dying on the cross to forgive all our sins. Forgiving all our sins as far as the east is from the west. 

How can I not forgive a brother of mine, who betrayed every member of my family; and put a poison that I know was from satan himself in the midst of my amazing family? 

I can not say that I'm fully healed from what happened to me 3 years ago, though I am healing with the Lord's help. My life flashing before my eyes. A trigger pulled, with a gun pointed at my head in between my eyes. Praying: "Lord take me now, for I would rather be with You then living in this hell on earth." With my own half brother whom I hardly knew holding the weapon, to my head... 

I can still remember every moment of that night like it was yesterday. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forget it. I can't imagine what my family would have gone through, how my parents would have felt had I died that night; the Lord truly is sovereign. 

I thank God every day for allowing my life to be spared that night. I realized after that night, God wasn't finished with me yet. Though I am still learning how to live my daily life trusting in Him for all my needs, His perfect will in my life, serving Him in a faithful way. Where He wants me to abide, to live, to work. I truly do love Him with all of my heart. 

People tell me on a daily basis, "You're crazy." I'd rather be crazy, happy, positive, always smiling... Then ever be miserable again. I have seen my life flash before my eyes too many times in the last 10 years to not love every day, every moment, and every hour of it. I will live my life to the fullest, and live everyday as of it were my last for the rest of my life until The Lord returns; And I refuse to let anyone make it different then that. 

I will love The Lord as my first love for the rest of my life and put Him first above all else. I will pray for my future husband until The Lord allows him to come and swoop me off my feet, cause me to go weak in the knees, and in so doing make all my dreams come true. All I want is what the Lord wants for me. And He has promised me the BEST! Therefore I bow my knees to the Father...

Lord, thank You for sparing my life. Thank You for loving me so much. Thank You for the family You have blessed me with. Lord, shine through in all of our lives. Lord, take care of my brothers. I love You Lord to the uttermost! 

I have Faith that the Lord heals all wounds, some just take longer then others.