Monday, September 10, 2012

The Sleeve of my Heart

Wearing my heart on my sleeve here for a min... The lyrics of this song struck something in me. This verse in particular hit a really BIG soft spot tonight and made me burst into desperate prayers to the Lord!:

"Mold me, shape me, Lord.
Be my reality.
"EVEN BREAK MY HEART,
IF IT HAS TO BE.
I'M DESPERATE, LORD, THAT YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME."
Others could touch You then through me."

Recently, I had something that I've wanted all my life dangled in my face, then swiped away in an instant from me and the Lord said "No, my child that is NOT my plan for you in this time..." My heart is broken, it has been shattered into a thousand pieces, and all I find myself doing constantly is crying to the Lord; "Lord, what do You want with my life? Lord, I don't want my life! Lord, take my life, do with it what You see fit, because it's not my life it's Yours! I owe my life to You, so take it! Show me what You want Lord! Because... You aren't letting MY plans happen... So what ARE Your plans? REVEAL Yourself to me Lord!"

This is my constant day to day prayer currently, and so far... I have no answers, but I have faith the Lord will reveal His purpose for my life... Someday... But until that day, I pray "Lord give me the faith and the endurance, to keep trusting You with my entire broken heart, with my life. Lord, pick up the pieces of my heart and put them back together with Your loving hands! Show me Your love. Because I desire nothing else other than to love You!"

Here are the lyrics to the entire song:

Though I love You, Lord,
My life seems all deformed.
I give my life to You—
Then drift away.
Lord, may I ask You that You'd draw me yet again,
And keep me running after You.

Chorus:
Lord, I've seen Your purpose.
Your heart's unveiled to me.
Now I'd just like to see You gain me fully.
Though You I often limit
And fail by compromise,
Keep me in the index of Your eyes.

Lord, I want Your best.
I want Your full blessing.
I don't want any less,
Though good it be.
Have mercy, Lord, to push, to pull, lay hold of me.
Keep me still running toward the prize.

Mold me, shape me, Lord.
Be my reality.
Even break my heart,
If it has to be.
I'm desperate, Lord, that You would have Your way with me.
Others could touch You then through me.

Set my heart aflame.
Don't let me stay the same.
Don't let things remain
Which now grieve You.
My life I give to You and all I've claimed as mine.
May I just hold, Lord, unto You.

Lord, I just love You with all my heart!

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/ns/246#ixzz268QQYfkl

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

"My Life" (August/September)

Okay it's been awhile since I've done any writing (blogging)... sorry!

My life is at a full throttle STOP! "Cross roads" Lots happening, not much to tell.

I'm currently looking for work out in Cali, while attending classes.

I'm enjoying my life, to the FULLEST extent right now... Enjoying my church life... blending... Finding and making new friendships... Continuing old friendships... Trying to find my place in Cali... I'm at peace, happy, and I feel extremely loved by my dear Lord Jesus! My life is for Him!

God has faithfully continued to bless me. And supply every need I have in my life practically, spiritually and mentally! I am one BLESSED human being :)

A word that was spoken in my presence today: "no matter what we are going through, no matter what our situation, God as our Lord, Savior, Master, Friend, Husband.. Can be our supply and joy. When we come to His word, the bible, it can and will fill our every need! It is the supplying word! All we need to do when we come to read His word is pray "Lord, be my supply, be my joy, supply me through the reading of Your words right now, be so real to me! Lord, reveal Yourself to me in Your word!"..."

"These things I have spoken to you that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full."
John 15:11

"Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be made full." John 16:24

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and I set you that you should go forth and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He may give you." John 15:16

John 15:16 FN5c: "Ask"
To ask in the Lord’s name requires us to abide in the Lord and allow Him and His words to abide in us that we may actually be one with Him. Then when we ask, He asks in our asking.

My prayer: "Lord, I want to be one that just abides in You, one that remains abiding in You. Lord, I want to always be found abiding in You, that whatever I may ask of You, would be Your desire, and not mine. Lord, I ask You to make me one that has fruit. Lord make me a fruit bearer. Flow in and flow out Lord! Lord, I want to always be found shining out Your light! Lord, everything of You, nothing of myself. Lord Jesus I just love You!"