Take every room Lord, Make Your home in my heart!!

I have been having some weird experiences as of late.

I've never been here ... This place in life. It is a brand new experience for me. Though outwardly I'm happy, and inwardly I'm satisfied and happy; There is something missing. I know what it is, but I do not know where he is. So, I'm stuck; waiting and praying. Much prayer and petition, letting my request be made know with thanksgiving.

Reflecting and praying about what's next in my life.

The only answers I am getting right now, are not ones that are too clear other than this one: "be patient my child." Patience is a virtue I've been told. But, the one who said that, I believe was a patient one, or at least had the knowledge of what TRUE patience is. Because to be truly patient... How does one become truly patient? I'm not quite sure, because I'm really very terrible at waiting, for anything.

I'm the person that doesn't like lines. I would rather go to the grocery store in the middle of the night, when no one is around. Rather, then being safe and going in the light of day.

I can not stand hitting a red light. They drive me crazy, and I'm literally already driving!!

So I'm learning... In everything to be patient. I am taking The Lord as my patience...

I have to stand in a line, I call on the name of the Lord. 'Oh, Lord Jesus!'

Every light I come to turns RED; right before I drive up to it... I call on the name of the Lord. 'Oh, Lord Jesus!'

Through every 'fault' I have, that I really hated before; I am learning to love them and to thank the Lord for those so called 'faults' I have. It is because of those 'faults' I'm building up my spiritual muscles and gaining the Lord more each and every moment of everyday, by calling on His precious name!

"Lord Jesus, I love You! Thank You for my down falls, my 'faults!' For I can gain You through these things. Lord, keep transforming me through the little things. Lord, keep me open to You. Mold me shape me Lord! Make home in every room of my heart. I just love You!"

Reflections on 2012

Spiritual Growth Reflections of the year 2012:

At the beginning of the year 2012. I made a personal decision to; no matter what, I was going to read at least 1 chapter if not more of the Bible everyday.

I started by reading 5 chapters of the Old Testament and 1 of the New Testament a day. I have accomplished my goal! Because of this past year of reading, I will be reading the Bible everyday for the rest of me life! I have developed a love and hunger for the Lord's Word! For through reading, I have come to have a Love for The Lord, for His people, for His goal, for His hearts desire.

I reflect back on what I was in the year 2011. How I lived my life, and how much I have personally changed. And I am astounded!

I am happier than I have ever been in my life, because I have a love for The Lord that I never had before. I am loving Him first above all things. I'm learning to trust in Him, to follow Him, to look to Him for answers to all my questions and problems. To talk to Him every moment of everyday. To treat Him like the most perfect someone that He is. He loved me SO MUCH that He gave His life for me, so that I could be saved and so that I could love Him as much as He loved me. He has given me so many chances, though I fail again and again at loving Him, He STILL loves me and opens His arms wide when I run back to Him! So Im loving Him as much as I am able, Pouring my all on Him. Though this physical life can sometimes (most the time) weigh us all down... The Lord is SO sweet to take the weight and put it on His shoulders to carry it all away. So I will keep turning to Him for help forever! No matter happy or sad, no matter what I am going through... I will love The Lord with my entire heart, for the rest of my life.

Prayer: "Lord take every room in my heart!"

Lord, I give You the rest of my life to gain me more and more, day by day, moment by moment. Please make home in every room of my heart. I can not make it in this world without You! I love You!

The Song I have sang every morning this year to The Lord:

My heart longs for absolute surrender
That I'd wholly consecrated be,
Not in word alone but all my being
Would be fully given unto Thee.
There is little willingness within me
To place all I am before Thy feet,
So I lay my hands on Thy dear head, Lord
As the burnt off'ring, perfect, complete.
Lord, You are the only One who offered
Yourself without reluctance unto God;
Full obedience to the Father given,
Absolute, You sacrificed Your all.
As this One, You're dwelling in my spirit;
Moving, spreading outward day by day.
There's a whisper of Amen within me
In response to all that You would say.
I say Yes and give You full permission
To touch every corner of my heart;
Break through all the barriers in my being;
Do not let me withhold any part.
'Tis my joy to give You all the ground, Lord;
Make my heart a dwelling place for You;
I want You to be at home within me;
Come and settle down in every room.
Lord, do cleanse my heart from all self-seeking
That I'd truly want nothing but Thee;
Let my soul be occupied, possessed, Lord,
That You would be magnified in me.

The Sleeve of my Heart

Wearing my heart on my sleeve here for a min... The lyrics of this song struck something in me. This verse in particular hit a really BIG soft spot tonight and made me burst into desperate prayers to the Lord!:

"Mold me, shape me, Lord.
Be my reality.
"EVEN BREAK MY HEART,
IF IT HAS TO BE.
I'M DESPERATE, LORD, THAT YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME."
Others could touch You then through me."

Recently, I had something that I've wanted all my life dangled in my face, then swiped away in an instant from me and the Lord said "No, my child that is NOT my plan for you in this time..." My heart is broken, it has been shattered into a thousand pieces, and all I find myself doing constantly is crying to the Lord; "Lord, what do You want with my life? Lord, I don't want my life! Lord, take my life, do with it what You see fit, because it's not my life it's Yours! I owe my life to You, so take it! Show me what You want Lord! Because... You aren't letting MY plans happen... So what ARE Your plans? REVEAL Yourself to me Lord!"

This is my constant day to day prayer currently, and so far... I have no answers, but I have faith the Lord will reveal His purpose for my life... Someday... But until that day, I pray "Lord give me the faith and the endurance, to keep trusting You with my entire broken heart, with my life. Lord, pick up the pieces of my heart and put them back together with Your loving hands! Show me Your love. Because I desire nothing else other than to love You!"

Here are the lyrics to the entire song:

Though I love You, Lord,
My life seems all deformed.
I give my life to You—
Then drift away.
Lord, may I ask You that You'd draw me yet again,
And keep me running after You.

Chorus:
Lord, I've seen Your purpose.
Your heart's unveiled to me.
Now I'd just like to see You gain me fully.
Though You I often limit
And fail by compromise,
Keep me in the index of Your eyes.

Lord, I want Your best.
I want Your full blessing.
I don't want any less,
Though good it be.
Have mercy, Lord, to push, to pull, lay hold of me.
Keep me still running toward the prize.

Mold me, shape me, Lord.
Be my reality.
Even break my heart,
If it has to be.
I'm desperate, Lord, that You would have Your way with me.
Others could touch You then through me.

Set my heart aflame.
Don't let me stay the same.
Don't let things remain
Which now grieve You.
My life I give to You and all I've claimed as mine.
May I just hold, Lord, unto You.

Lord, I just love You with all my heart!

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/ns/246#ixzz268QQYfkl